Dead Romantic


Vinnie tiptoed as quietly as he could into the bedroom.  He stood at the foot of the bed for a minute watching Lee sleep.
 His long muscular frame was wrapped in the duvet, one foot hanging out as always, his lush dark hair flopping out over
the pillowcase.  Vinnie thought to himself, how did an ugly old bear like me end up with such a beautiful man?

He moved to open the curtains but stopped, hearing Lee whisper from under the duvet,

"Not yet... "

"Come on, it's practically dark again," Vinnie said.

"Please, just a few more minutes?" Lee sat up squinting, but his voice was like chocolate and Vinnie melted.

"Do you want some breakfast?"

"Please."

In the kitchen Vinnie busied himself with the frying pan.  Black pudding sizzled and Vinnie added a couple of sausages
for himself.  He'd already filled the dishwasher and put a load of laundry on and what with that, the sound of breakfast
frying and the kettle boiling, the kitchen felt like the satisfying hub of the home.  Just like a normal family, thought
Vinnie.  I'm a proper domestic goddess.  Just a bit hairier.

Lee had finally woken up.  He came into the kitchen and sat at the table.  He was wearing his long housecoat, which
Vinnie thought made him look like some sort of youthful aristocrat, and sunglasses, which kind of spoiled the effect.

"Here", said Vinnie, "best I could do until 'you know where' opens."

Lee frowned at him from under his shades.

"You're just too good to me aren't you?"

Vinnie bristled at the sarcasm and started setting breakfast on the table.  Lee poured himself some orange juice.

"So have you seen the newspaper?"

Vinnie looked.  The headlines read: TWO LOST IN STORMS; GAY CELEBS TO DIVORCE, and an advert for cheap flights.

"So?"

Lee stood up and hurled his plate onto the wall.  Black pudding and Royal Doulton crashed everywhere.

"What.. ?"

Lee's fist hit the table.  "You lying little shit."

"I... "

Lee lifted the table and threw the whole thing across the room.  Vinnie cowered in the corner.  Broken glass, crockery
and food covered the lino.

"You've been at it again haven't you?" Lee picked Vinnie up and pinned him against the wall by the throat.  His mouth
smelled strangely seductive, like fresh steak and chianti.  He was so close to Vinnie's face he could have been about to
kiss him.  "You promised all this was over."

Vinnie spluttered, "Put me down, you're hurting me."  His feet were dangling above the floor.

There was a moment where all was still, only the swishing of the washing machine and the dishwasher under the sink
prevented total silence.

Lee flung him across the room with the same ease as he'd thrown the breakfast dish.

"Where were you last night?"

"You know very well where I was, where do I always go?"

Vinnie was slumped now beside the dishwasher.

"I know where you were supposed to be.  Jesus, Vinnie.  I thought we'd agreed on this?"

"I wasn't... I promise... I... don't you trust me?"

"No," Lee shouted, kicking over the chair.  It narrowly missed hitting Vinnie's leg. "You always take your bag with you
when you go there.  Do you think I'm stupid or something?  I was still awake this morning.  I heard you in the shower."  
A look of sheer despair came over his face and with this he stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

Of course they knew when they first got together it was never going to be easy.  I mean... who's ever heard of a
successful relationship between a werewolf and a vampire?  They'd met here in Blackpool just over a year ago.  Vinnie
would say it was Lee who seduced him.  Vampires have that weird magnetism after all.  But Lee maintains that it was
Vinnie's heavy eyebrows and muscular forearms that did it.  He had that Colin Farrell thing going on.  And he was funny
with it.  When they met they'd argued over whether Kerry Katona's drunken TV interview was fake or not.  Lee thought
it was for sure, but Vinnie was convinced the poor girl was the victim of the celebrity machine.

Vinnie had got down on one knee with his hands clasped together under his chin.  Gazing up at Lee he'd wailed,

"Did Diana die on a cross for us for nothing?"

By which point Lee was laughing so hard he thought he was going to beat immortality.

Of course, that fact that Vinnie worked for the Blood Transfusion Service didn't hinder matters either.

It hadn't been long until Lee decided Vinnie was 'the one'.  Once he'd confessed he was a vampire (and what a
conversation that was) Vinnie agreed that he too wanted them to be together forever.  Lee agreed to give Vinnie the
"special bite".

They'd decided to do it on the beach at midnight.  Both of them got dressed up for the event.  Lee wore a long dark
frockcoat, tight black jeans and a pair of vintage boots.  Vinnie, in honour of his Scottish grandmother, hired a kilt to
wear.  The beach was deserted.  Waves roared in the background, filling the night air with the scent of the sea.  The
moon was oval but bright.  Its light illuminating the scene in shades of silver and indigo.  Only the distant sound of the
Pleasure Beach and late night revellers suggested the era this sacred act was taking place in.

Lee took Vinnie in his arms and kissed him.

"Ready?" he said.  They were both shivering though it wasn't particularly cold at this time of year.

"As I'll ever be."  Vinnie paused. 'Will it hurt?'

"It should feel warm and kind of arousing."

"Okay.  Arousing's good."  He smiled, tilted his head and exposed his neck.

Lee drew back a moment.  He opened his mouth and allowed his fangs to fully extend.  Then he sunk them down into
the warm flesh of Vinnie's throat.

A moment or two passed.  To any onlookers it would seem merely like two lovers in an embrace.

Lee lifted up his head, blood dribbled slightly down his chin.

Vinnie waited.  Nothing seemed to be happening.  He wriggled his arms and legs a bit.  Shook out his feet.

"Is that it?" he said.

"What do you mean, 'Is that it'?"

"I don't feel anything."

"Nothing at all?"

"Nothing."

"Are you sure it's not working?"  Lee said.

"I don't feel anything?"

"Not like a tingling sensation down your back and a weird buzzing in your head?  Like you've taken really strong E?"

"Nope?"

"I can't work it out," said Lee.  His fangs had receded again and he screwed up his face in deep thought.  "Obviously it's
been about a hundred years since I've done it but I'm sure I did it right."

"Maybe it's because I'm a werewolf."

"What?"  Lee took a step back and nearly fell over in the sand.

"Didn't I mention that?  Sorry."  Vinnie shrugged and gave Lee his best Colin Farrell grin.  "Thought I had already.  It's
part of the 'condition', it um... kind of messes with your short term memory."

So they'd made an agreement that every full moon, Vinnie would take himself out to a nearby island.  He'd bought a
little boat especially.  The island was uninhabited, apart from the gulls and other sea birds.  These provided enough
meat and sport to keep the beast happy.  But then people had begun to go missing.

It was three in the morning when Lee came back after their fight.  Vinnie was in the living room curled up on the settee.  
His eyes were red-rimmed and he was surrounded by a sympathetic army of scrunched up tissues.  Lee lingered at the
door.

"It's so hard," Vinnie sniffed.  "I really have been trying you know?  But any time it gets stormy I can't manage the boat.
 I've been dumping it and then walking further down the coast instead.  I did try to find somewhere with fewer people
around.  You know how much I hate myself after I feed.  But the scent of them.  That human smell.  It just drives me
crazy, you know?"

"I know babe."  Lee sat down and cuddled Vinnie until his head was on his lap.  "We'll be okay," he said, stroking Lee's
hair.  "I've been thinking.  There's a house for sale.  Down near the beach front.  It's got a wine cellar.  I could use it
during the daytime and when it's a full moon we could get some extra strong locks.  What do you think?  It's about
time we stopped renting anyway, now the house prices are finally starting to fall."

"I think it's a good job you're so much older and wiser than me," said Vinnie.

"Hey.  Less of the old, yeah?"

All Lee had to figure out now was how to broach the subject of the young lady he'd picked up on his way back from
town last night.  And whether Vinnie would forgive him for giving her the "special bite".

Jenny Love